Nobody Gonna Break Our Stride.
Surviving the Teen Years
My daughter can not ride a bike. I didn’t teach her. That’s on me, yes? That’s what I thought.
Actually, she will tell you she KNOWS HOW to ride a bike. You know, the inner workings and concept of it, but she just CAN’T. Got all that? Here is how the conversation goes.
Sydney: I know HOW to ride a bike, I just can’t.
Me:(???????) No, sweetie if you CAN’T ride a bike, then you don’t know how.
Sydney: MOM! I know HOW to ride a bike. I know what to do. I just can’t.
Me:(????????????????????) Noooooooo, if you CAN’T, then you don’t know HOW. If you knew HOW, then you COULD. (Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!)
*This could go on for hours, you get the idea*
Yesterday, I took her to get her permit at the DMV. She has to pass an exam of driving questions, and she DID. She made an 84, she passed. Let’s not confuse my little text message to Jason. 84 she passed, which made him unsure of who passed and where the funeral was. Ahem. No, SHE passed, Sydney passed. She knows HOW to drive. DMV said so, they gave her a driving permit.
Mkay?
We leave the DMV and she is all smiles, how about letting me DRIVE YOU. Uhh, heck NO! But nice try. A small argument ensued.
Sydney: How am I supposed to learn how to drive if YOU won’t let me?
Me: That’s what the driver’s ed car is for!
Sydney: Mom! You are supposed to TEACH me, the parent, that’s what the drivers ed teacher said.
Me: (Whaaaaaaat??) Uhhh, NO that guy is crazy! Didn’t you say he only teaches to pay for his Harley. (OMG!)
(Sometime later) Sydney talks me into letting her drive my car around in a parking lot. Harmless right? It’s just a parking lot, no moving cars, the business was closed. Easy.
Let me just say, she knows HOW, but Lordy! She can’t. I have never been so scared in my life and we were in a completely EMPTY parking lot. An empty parking lot with a BIG light pole encased in a round concrete barrier, two small medians at each end, curbs outlining the lot, and let’s not forget the building home to this lot. (YIKES!)
Despite my desperate pleas of SLOWLY, SOFTLY, EASE IT! It was PUNCH, JAM, and BRAKE suddenly. Somehow the wheel wouldn’t turn. Uhhh, Actually you have to physically move the wheel, TURN IT! TURN IT! TURN IT! Use your muscle, because softly rotating it from side to side does NOT make the car turn, it will only drive you from a parking spot into the median it’s parked next to. (Ahhh!)
I’ll give her some credit. She did finally manage to make a turn around the median without hitting anything. ONCE. Just as I was starting to relax (she’s getting it), she drove straight into the curb (again!).
I have a confession, not only did I not teach my daughter HOW to ride a bike. I have a feeling I WON’T be teaching her HOW to drive a car. Not with my nerves intact, my sanity, and let’s not forget any bodily harm.
Actually, she will tell you she KNOWS HOW to ride a bike. You know, the inner workings and concept of it, but she just CAN’T. Got all that? Here is how the conversation goes.
Sydney: I know HOW to ride a bike, I just can’t.
Me:(???????) No, sweetie if you CAN’T ride a bike, then you don’t know how.
Sydney: MOM! I know HOW to ride a bike. I know what to do. I just can’t.
Me:(????????????????????) Noooooooo, if you CAN’T, then you don’t know HOW. If you knew HOW, then you COULD. (Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!)
*This could go on for hours, you get the idea*
Yesterday, I took her to get her permit at the DMV. She has to pass an exam of driving questions, and she DID. She made an 84, she passed. Let’s not confuse my little text message to Jason. 84 she passed, which made him unsure of who passed and where the funeral was. Ahem. No, SHE passed, Sydney passed. She knows HOW to drive. DMV said so, they gave her a driving permit.
Mkay?
We leave the DMV and she is all smiles, how about letting me DRIVE YOU. Uhh, heck NO! But nice try. A small argument ensued.
Sydney: How am I supposed to learn how to drive if YOU won’t let me?
Me: That’s what the driver’s ed car is for!
Sydney: Mom! You are supposed to TEACH me, the parent, that’s what the drivers ed teacher said.
Me: (Whaaaaaaat??) Uhhh, NO that guy is crazy! Didn’t you say he only teaches to pay for his Harley. (OMG!)
(Sometime later) Sydney talks me into letting her drive my car around in a parking lot. Harmless right? It’s just a parking lot, no moving cars, the business was closed. Easy.
Let me just say, she knows HOW, but Lordy! She can’t. I have never been so scared in my life and we were in a completely EMPTY parking lot. An empty parking lot with a BIG light pole encased in a round concrete barrier, two small medians at each end, curbs outlining the lot, and let’s not forget the building home to this lot. (YIKES!)
Despite my desperate pleas of SLOWLY, SOFTLY, EASE IT! It was PUNCH, JAM, and BRAKE suddenly. Somehow the wheel wouldn’t turn. Uhhh, Actually you have to physically move the wheel, TURN IT! TURN IT! TURN IT! Use your muscle, because softly rotating it from side to side does NOT make the car turn, it will only drive you from a parking spot into the median it’s parked next to. (Ahhh!)
I’ll give her some credit. She did finally manage to make a turn around the median without hitting anything. ONCE. Just as I was starting to relax (she’s getting it), she drove straight into the curb (again!).
I have a confession, not only did I not teach my daughter HOW to ride a bike. I have a feeling I WON’T be teaching her HOW to drive a car. Not with my nerves intact, my sanity, and let’s not forget any bodily harm.
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